How can Christians resolve conflict and be peacemakers in the world? It’s not easy, but Tom Gehring believes it’s possible. In this episode, Tom shares his three-step process for Christians to be world-class peacemakers, bringing Christian principles and reconciliation to the bargaining table as they settle disputes with others.

Who is Tom Gehring? Tom Gehring is a 38-year trial lawyer, mediator, and arbitrator who specializes in settling cases finding peace in the midst of conflict. He’s an adjunct professor at Pepperdine University School of Law, and he speaks around the country on the topic of conflict mediation and peacemaking. Tom has also walked the Camino de Santiago twice in an adventure that always teaches him more about taking life one step at a time with Christ.

When Tom found the Lord and was born again, he looked back on his life and recognized God’s call to become a trial lawyer from a young age. He rejected the typical perspective that lawyers should keep parties arguing until one of them wins. Instead, he looked to Biblical examples to discover how Christians can use reconciliation to resolve conflicts and be the peacemaker. His latest book, Settle It! . . . And Be Blessed, helps readers learn how to settle conflicts to find blessings and open themselves up to be a blessing to others.


“You cannot pursue your passion in the middle of your conflict.” — Tom

“Most of the time, in a secular sense, it looks like it’s going to be impossible to settle.” — Tom

“In almost every conflict, there is one side that thinks they did nothing wrong.” — Tom

“The person that sacrifices nothing learns and discerns nothing.” — Tom

“The first rule of conflict resolution is be the first to reach out and be the peacemaker. Always be the first, and you will be blessed.” — Tom

“Any time the Lord, Jesus, or angels ask anybody to do something, they said to do it quickly.” — Tom

“All settlements come down to one word: sacrifice.” — Tom

“If you have to measure your sacrifice, you’re probably not sacrificing enough.” — Tom

Action steps:

  • Settling almost always seems impossible, which causes us to freeze up and delay. But there’s always some path through the conflict. Don’t avoid conflict: look for resolution.
  • Delaying your conflict resolution only wastes time and causes more harm. Don’t delay. Act quickly.
  • Unless you learn how to be a peacemaker, you’re always going to have to hire someone to be the peacemaker for you. Become empowered to resolve your own conflicts.
  • Sacrifice is the key to being a peacemaker. What can you sacrifice to settle a dispute.
  • We have a call to be mediators in others’ lives, not just our own. Be willing to be the reconciler for people to people and people to God.

Resources mentioned:


Tom has generously offered to send a free copy of his book Settle It! . . . And Be Blessed to ten of our listeners. All of our e-mail subscribers are eligible for a free copy! Sign up here to receive our show notes via e-mail if you’re not already on the list.

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